Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

...no picture available

Mumbo & Jive end of 2013 countdown of the best posts of 2009

As 2013 wraps up, the staff of Mumbo & Jive thought our readers would appreciate a look back at the top posts of 2009. Through democratic input from all staff here, we hope you will warmly remember the best of Mumbo & Jive from 2009.


Mumbo & Jive readers will fondly remember this post from August 31, 2009.

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?: 2003 edition

Mumbo & Jive end of 2013 countdown of the best posts of 2009

As 2013 wraps up, the staff of Mumbo & Jive thought our readers would appreciate a look back at the top posts of 2009. Through democratic input from all staff here, we hope you will warmly remember the best of Mumbo & Jive from 2009.


Mumbo & Jive readers will fondly remember this post from November 2, 2009, entitled Goat Win, and tagged Goat, Win.

Mumbo & Jive end of 2013 countdown of the best posts of 2009

As 2013 wraps up, the staff of Mumbo & Jive thought our readers would appreciate a look back at the top posts of 2009. Through democratic input from all staff here, we hope you will warmly remember the best of Mumbo & Jive from 2009.


Mumbo & Jive readers will fondly remember this post from August 29, 2009.

Mumbo & Jive end of 2013 countdown of the best posts of 2009

As 2013 wraps up, the staff of Mumbo & Jive thought our readers would appreciate a look back at the top posts of 2009. Through democratic input from all staff here, we hope you will warmly remember the best of Mumbo & Jive from 2009.


Mumbo & Jive readers will fondly remember this post from November 25, 2009.

Editor's Note: The original video was (unsurprisingly) taken down but el krecko was (equally unsurprisingly) able to find it reposted elsewhere.

untitled

Sales of the SUV for October increased by a staggering 59%

You'll never believe what happened right before this song came on the radio(?)

Mumbo & Jive Presents: BD Presents: A Deft and Anonymous Touch

Oh man, that's the coolest yvnisHvi thing I've ever seen! You'll just have to watch this totally awesome video to find out what's so vnisnvnHyHnv

Birds: Winged Zombie Annihilators

Ridiculous auto cat rectal. Birdseed!

"For instance, I can take this lady who's been evacuating from a hurricane zone and move it over here."

for no journalistic purpose

I use the fluorescent paper.

Five colors.

GYRADOS uses FLY...it doesn't affect DIGDUG!

Wasn't that the one where Alec Baldwin climbs a Himalayan mountain to learn how to disappear and kick people in the face?

I just can't stay in character!

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

...now that is one steamy video...

...great...something else i've never done that everyone else apparently has...as if i'm not wierd enough already

“I hope it hasn’t damaged my eyes.”

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU GET A NORMAL FUCKING JOB LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU FUCKING HIPPIE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Any ideas for a soundtrack? Keep Rockin' Me Baby? Come on and Dance? Take the Money and Run? Jet Airliner?

I don't get a beer gut because I work out like 4 hours every day HIGH FIVE

...no fair, you cheated...

...quick game of pickup...

(do yourself a favour and turn down the volume...it's ridiculously loud)

Mumbo & Jive play on words alert: "Drunk and Boarish"

Campers told to lock up food and drink after feral pig goes on bender in Western Australia and ends up in altercation with cow

Oh shit...was that ghost sharp supposed to be a ghost natural?

Something is smoking...I'm pretty sure it's the guitar licks...

Woah...those would be some gnarly hills to try to bike on...

10 Flight of the Conchords GIFs to get the mother ucking party started

Mumbo & Jive COINCIDENCE ALERT:...just to be the man who walked one thousand miles...

Dubstep Cat

The 7 best Batmans, as ranked by their chins

It's huge! (oh, crap, somebody recently said that about a something else, but I can't remember who it was, what gender they were, or what they were talking about)

Is this the worst video on youtube? (make sure volume is turned up)

untitled

Party ideas

BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!!!!

Volkan is believed to have been high on drugs at the time of the party...

Cash cab?

An ass wave

chekc it out...she might be topless #brolaugh

criticalhandgestures.tumblr.com

JIM--DROP THE NEEDLE

"The days of buying pornographic videos with names based on Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors are over."

Caballero Video has agreed to stop marketing "Boston Cream Thigh," ''Peanut Butter D-Cup" and other films spoofing the names of the venerable Vermont ice cream maker's products.

h/t

FUCK YEAH!!!!!11!!11!!1!!!!!111111!!1

Slow clap for America

Easier than the Supervillian or Newt Gingrich test: I got an A-

Urinal man

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

In 2008, the Braun Man sent me the most awesome link I have ever received in my entire life.  Unfortunately, there is apparently no online archive for this publication, since google searches for

hockey lsd phish growing marijuana murder bill clinton shithead prison

and similar searches yield no hits.

The original article was written in the 1990's, but republished because of its awesomeness.

The author begins by explaining the delights of playing hockey while on LSD, which he does every morning before going out to sell LSD.  Eventually, he gets caught on a misdemeanor drug charge but the prosecutor offers to drop it if he buys enough LSD from a supplier to get the supplier on a felony charge.  He agrees to do so.  This is where it gets awesome.

The police ask him where he can meet with the supplier.  He knows dozens of places, but is a huge Phish fan and knows that they're playing a concert in town in the near future.  He tells them that the only place he can possibly meet the supplier to buy that quantity of LSD is at the Phish concert, so the police department gets him into the Phish concert for free.

The police also ask him how much money he will need to buy the requisite amount of LSD where a misdemeanor becomes a felony.  He tells them quadruple the amount of money he actually needs, and the police department gives him every penny he asks for.  Once at the concert, he finds the supplier and purchases all the LSD the supplier has, over twice the amount he was supposed to buy.  However, he asked for so much money that he still has a fat stack of money left over, which he pockets.  He returns to the police officer and hands over the amount of LSD he was supposed to purchase, and as the police officer leaves to arrest the supplier, he heads back to the concert to sell the remaining LSD.  Once he sells all the extra LSD, he enjoys the Phish concert.

Now free of his legal difficulties, he realizes that he can make a lot of money growing marijuana.  He buys a suitable house and starts making an extraordinary amount of money selling the marijuana he grows.  But then he lets a guy stay with him, who happens to be crazy.  The crazy guy calls the FBI from the author's land line (remember, this is the 90's) and tells them that he's going to murder then-president Bill Clinton.

The feds quickly arrive, pounding on the door.  He answers and demands to see their warrant.  They inform him that they don't need a warrant when there is a plot to kill the President of the United States.  As they enter, he realizes that he house guest has created this entire situation.  To protect his identity, the author refers to his guest as Shithead.

"You're a shithead, Shithead," he says as he is being arrested for growing an enormous amount of marijuana in his house.

The piece ends with the author speculating on what he'll do once he leaves prison later that year, I believe 1997.  Whatever his plans were, they probably involved listening to the Spice Girls, Notorious B.I.G., and the Aerosmith comeback, and seeing Titanic, the Jurassic Park sequel, Men in Black, the Fifth Element, and Air Force One in theaters.  Miss you so much, 1997.

Note from the editor: This post was double-retro: 2008 and 1997.

Nightmares interlude: These spiders are bamf's

chekc it out...a bunch of swingers #brolaugh

If this had never happened, it would be impossible to make up.

Several teenagers had to be hospitalized after a prank involving a mixture of deer repellent and fart spray went horribly wrong at a Christian Bible study summer camp.

untitled

EBAY

Broken Laser Pointer for $14.83

These have only been posted because of the news graphics: The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude and Easter Under Attack

chekc it out...he keeps saying happy ending #brolaugh

Remember, this is the network that lets former stuntmen direct movies: "It's time to leave Kansas, mate."

Untitled

FUCKING FRATERNITIES

Polly wants a cracker

Sexy bmp file

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

kites

Don't think, just click

#DoIt

Grabbing an opponent's club out of the air, and either dropping one of your own clubs, or continuing with four clubs

more: playing with balls brolaugh brolaugh brolaugh

What the balls?

Shocking but true: this man survived a thunderstorm

"Son, there's no wrong way to consume alcohol."

...and how many of you...assholes...came here tonight...BY PEDESTRIAN?

The Amazing Adventures of Chef Boyardickhead and His Pineapple

chekc it out...he keeps saying wood #brolaugh

Some people drunk dial. Others...

Is anyone else aroused by this?

chekc it out...he keeps saying beaver #brolaugh

untitled

untitled

Awesome (but only on a technicality)

...south miltonvillehamington west...

...get this clown out of here...

...nobody say it...

and that's why you don't let women drive #thatsjustrational #stopbeingemotional

Mumbo & Jive has sunk to a new low, referencing inside jokes with people who don't even read this blog. Enjoy a short why don't you?

chekc it out...he keeps saying shaft #brolaugh

uhh, dude, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just ha--OH MY GOD YOUR COCK!!!

one surrealist a day

Mumbo King decrees: "Killer robot, destroy underperforming Mumbo & Jive contributors!"

Mumbo & Jive Buzzkill Fridays

Note: Each Friday, Mumbo & Jive seeks to get your weekend started off wrong by posting a total bummer right as you are getting ready to go out, each and every Friday evening.

Welcome once again to our weekly feature, Mumbo & Jive presents: Buzzkill Fridays. This edition is a special treat--Brian and Zay voted in favor of the domestic violence photo essay, while The Conman and Jake backed the modern slavery film. As MB abstained (not something he frequently does), the final decision was up to me.

As chief executive editor of Mumbo & Jive (a title bestowed to the person who posts nearly 100% of posts for the last three years), I decided to post both! I'm the chief executive editor, I do have that kind of power. So, to kill your buzz this weekend:

Shane & Maggie

Stolen

You wouldn't think such a scrawny girl could do pushups...

I'm sorry. I should feed it, maybe?

At first, I thought someone dropped a bunch of flaming car tires onto the unsuspecting town below...

Mumbo & Jive Badass Fridays

Here at Mumbo & Jive, we like to highlight a total fucking badass for our readers each and every Friday. With much debate from our staff, we settled on Bayard Rustin for this week's badass:

"I love Jesus, it's just that his followers are a bunch of hideous fuckers" -Gandhi

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

Because I couldn't remember which one it was:

Improve your Chinese takeout wushu

Yeah, we've been doing this totally wrong:

FAVORITE TAG PARTICIPANT: DENNEHY / FAVORITE TAG SITE: MISSOULA

SHOCKING BUT TRUE: Rich person forced to fly economy class--lives to tell the tale--and does

You truly are lawyers for asses: Another Braun Man-approved internet website

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

~

Mumbo & Jive Play on Words Alert: "Being both men of elevated minds..."

"...it was a global dick-wagging contest on a scale never before seen in human history..."

Mumbo & Jive irony alert: "...and then come home and bomb Cambodia..."

Cows to horriffic traffic accident: "NBD"

All cows survived unharmed.

...ummm...

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

This song made a party mixxx back in 2008.

Retro Thursday: What were we laughing about in 2008?

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe

Some sort of craziness seems to have taken hold in Kansas

Best. Victory dance. Ever. (via)

Another installment of Mumbo & Jive's series: I guess they'll play that on the radio

I'll wear your grand dad's coat
I look incredible
I'm in this big ass coat

Belonging to a separate instalment of They should play that on the radio, the same guys also made this incredible video about Washington's referendum 74: